My 2013 round-up

OK readers, here is my round up of 2013, the year that shouldn't have been (according to the ancient Mexicans) personally it was a big year for me, I got out of my funk, I had spent too long hiding in my room scared to come out and then this year happened. I made friends, for the first time in years I made friends not friends of friends, not facebook people I'd never meet but real life friends.

 I did comedy, live on stage comedy, I'm not the best I can be yet... but this year rather than just think about it I did it, It was so scary and I was petrified... I'm not that confident you see, like most LOUD people it's pretty much a facade, mine's just better than other peoples. So that was a huge step for me, and as a result my life has improved... so for all the people who encouraged me to get up on stage for that first time (specifically Ste Callaghan, Victoria Barnet and My mum) I thank you... it's made me better, and to the people who've supported me and encouraged me along the way (Tom Urie and Anna Devitt and loads more)

This year having just started comedy I decided I couldn't hang about waiting to grow as an act so I decided to just plough on (once I get into something I tend not to recognise my boundaries) I gigged in London, I gigged in LA and I did the Edinburgh festival, I tied it all up with a performance in front of my city at the O2 to raise money for the Clutha appeal (much to the chagrin of my comedy peers who couldn't help but slag me)... 

I got exciting news about my writing work and had an audition for Scot Squad... I pretended to be a violent Australian therapist... I didn't get the part. My Granda had a stroke, I lost 21 lbs (put on a few), I hurt my back trying to pole dance, I got drunk and rapped everywhere I went, I joined an Internet dating site, Twang the aged lap dog died, I did podcasts, I got asked out by strangers on facebook... and I lived... and so without further ado here is my Best of 2013, My favourite things from the year, enjoy!

Best Moment of 2013 and possibly my life:

The moment William Shatner Acknowledged my existence and the whole world changed...

and It just kept getting better

and then mum stole him from me... 

Strangest moment of 2013:

Hosting the unveiling of the 2014 Commonwealth Culture Celebration... thing..

Best Picture of Me in 2013:
Who doesn't like looking like a Narwhal behind their mother... 

Man I fancied the most in 2013:
Jake Johnson... no explanation required... he's just a babe especially when you can only see half his head. 

Favourite Photo Ad of 2013:

Favourite TV Show of 2013:

well this is a tough one, I've enjoyed a lot of TV this year, both new and old. There's been a great slew of new shows hitting our screens and it's been a bumper year for the sitcom, I've decided to split my love into categories; Comedy, Not Comedy and Reality,

in the Comedy section I present 

The Mindy Project:

although not released in 2013, I only truly understood this show in 2013. I feel a certain affinity with Mindy and have found myself crying with laughter watching it. Also big kudos to Mindy who was one of the few female writers on the Office and famously stood her ground in battles with her co-writer BJ Novak even though it made her look like a 'bitch'.

and for the Non Comedy:

The Blacklist:

How do I describe to you my favourite hour of the week, I sit down, I prepare, I digest... so many clues, so much deception, so many SECRETS!!!! I cannot express to you how much I love and look forward to this TV show. It makes my innards happy, I spend hours pondering the secrets locked within the mind of Red Reddington... It's been a highlight!

and for Reality... this was a tough one but once again I pick

Deadliest Catch:

High drama on the Bering sea, again not released this year but I did watch it from season 1 again this year and loved every second of it (again). Captain Sig and co caught lobster a plenty and brought us touching, terrifying and tremendously funny moments all while staying alive on one of the harshest seas in the world!

Favourite song of 2013:

Bastille’s Pompeii is the most listened to song on my itunes this year, combining history with a hypnotic beat

Favourite Book of 2013:

I read a lot this year, I discovered a love for 'steam punk' which upset my mother, I reread a lot of Terry Pratchett, I found SJ Bolton and fell in love and discovered an appreciation for True crime... but my favourite book this year? It's a tough one... and I've had to hand it to two books... the first

Angelmaker by Nick Harkaway 

Sons of Gangsters, Aged martial arts experts, clockwork monks and a secret underworld all play a role in this seriously magnificent, funny and exciting tale. 

Like This, For Ever by SJ Bolton

The third book in the Lacey Flint series captures 2013, Lacey is in a bad place, little boys are 

being murdered and the internet it ablaze with speculation and taunts... could it really be a 

vampire?

Plain Jane’s Ruled:

A weird phenomena of 2013 was the heart throbs, in my perusal of the Internet this year I noted a rise in love for not your Hunks but for the weedy, pale Englishmen. For some reason this year being rather witty and good at dancing made the international ladies knickers wet, and so in my honourable mentions I doff my cap to these gents (who if you saw walking down the street and they weren’t famous you wouldn’t look twice at) but because of their fame, character and charm they have stolen ladies hearts and given hope to skinny white boys with a degree in philosophy everywhere (oxford)

Tom Hiddleston                             

 Benedict Cumberbatch

Best Quote from a Politician:

“Oh, and the last thing was Olivia Gondek, that I wanted to eat her pussy. I’m happily married. I’ve got more than enough to eat at home.” Rob Ford

Favourite Celebrity of the Year:

Jennifer Lawrence, hands down Jennifer Lawrence. She was spectacular, she was outspoken and talented and feisty and the subject of every girls 'girl crush'... she fell at the Oscars but managed it with dignity, she admitted shitting herself on TV, she told Joan River where she could stick her opinions, when asked on the red carpet to describe her dress she casually said "Well this is the top and thats the bottom" and then wowed us all with her Real Housewife of New Jersey performance in American Hustle... but my favourite moment? when she geekasmed and flirted with Jack Nicholson 

Favourite Youtuber of The year:

Philip Defranco had a big year this year, he got engaged, he expanded his online empire and he helped others up the scary Youtube ladder by reinvesting his earnings in other projects. He's an all round good guy who brings us the news in a way we youngsters like it, funny and simple. I've not gone a week without watching atleast two episodes, if you've not tuned in I suggest you do now. 

Most Tear Jerking moments of the Year:

there have been a lot of videos and pictures out there that make us tear up a little, it's a good soul cleanser... here's some of my favourite moments:

NZ legalise Gay Marriage in 2013:
I think when we look back on 2013 we'll remember how big a year it was for the LGBT community, they faced rampant homophobia from Russia but the internet... the internet went wild in support with country star and mans man Willie Nelson telling Texas Monthly: 

“I never thought of marriage as something only for men and women. But I’d never marry a guy I didn’t like.”

yes there were groups of haters and religious biggots but for once the scream of the enemy wasn't the loudest... it was the song of friends... the song of support for gay rights rang true and 2013 saw a definate wind of change blow in.

as Stated in Buzz Feed, 2013 may be the year Love won out, for other out and proud moments from 2013 see this list http://www.buzzfeed.com/saeedjones/100-reasons-to-be-proud-in-2013

Bye Bye Alex:
Probably not as tearful for you as it was for me, but 2013 saw me in a blubbering heap as Alex Ferguson bowed out as manager of Man United after years of dedication... and good old Rio scored an unprecidented goal for his boss... and remember that one time he assaulted Beckham and made him a better man. God I miss him. 

Unlikely Hero of the Year:

Charles 'The Big Mac' Ramsey

On May 6, 2013, three women and a child  – Amanda Berry, Georgina "Gina" DeJesus, Michelle Knight and Jocelyn Berry – were rescued from captivity in a house owned by their kidnapper, Ariel Castro. The women had been held there for 10 years and in that time had given birth, suffered torture and worse of all lost hope. That was until Amanda made a break, this woman attempted to escape from the clutches of a man who'd terrified and tortured her and had it not been for Charles Ramsey... she might not have survived, I'll let him tell you the rest... he's a delight to listen to. 

and so as I sit here full of phlegm and stinking of Olbas oil, I hope you have a wonderful Hogmany and I hope that 2014 is as interesting and as exciting as 2013 was... I'm sure it will be

I leave you with this...